Who Am I? Why Do You Care?

I am a woman on a journey. Where I'll end up is yet to be discovered.

What Are Dreams Made Of?


What are dreams? Are they the goals that motivate us to push ourselves when we feel like giving up? Are they the pipe dreams we keep to ourselves – the things so far fetched that it would embarrass us to tell? Is it both? Is having both kinds of dreams important? How do we keep dreams alive? Do these dreams ground us or do we think of them as the things that are ever out of our reach? Do they define us, or do we define them? Are dreams what makes us human?

As you can tell, I’ve been thinking about dreams again. I know I’ve talked about them before, and some of this may be redundant, but well, you all know by now that I’m random and chaotic, so off I go.

I wonder what makes one person persistently pursue their dreams while another person may never even try to realize them. I wonder how some people seem to have dreams as big as the stars, while others are content to appear to have no dreams at all. Our dreams are as diverse as we are. I can’t help but think about how, for some, the things some of us take for granted can be the impossible dream. An education, perhaps. Some are free to pursue educational goals while others are refused that dream based on sex, religion, race or location. For some, a full stomach and fresh water are pipe dreams – something they will never have.

Dreams. What do we dream of? Bigger houses? More money? A career? Health? What about finishing college, getting a promotion, running a marathon, losing fifty pounds, or learning to sew? Can dreams and goals be one and the same? What defines a dreamer versus someone who is goal oriented? We think of dreamers as those with their heads in the clouds, never coming down to land. We think of those who are goal oriented as the go getters that know how to get what they want. Does it have to be one or the other?

I have dreams like everyone else. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a torch singer. A few of the problems with that was the fact that I was a good singer, but not exceptional, and I’m not sure how many opportunities there were for that type of singer, but I was the shy kid. I was way too shy to have ever followed the dream of becoming a singer. It’s interesting because there are singers out there who are successful that don’t seem all that talented. What’s the difference? Passion, persistence and determination. I wasn’t the kind of person to shock my parents by boldly declaring I wanted to be a singer and then traveling the road to make it happen. For me, it was one of those pipe dreams – something fun to think about, but not to try. Is this the difference between a dream and a wish? I’m not sure.

What do I dream of now? I dream of raising a daughter that is confident and secure. I want her to be able to take care of herself and contribute something to this world. I want her to be kind and caring, but at the same time live her life on her own terms, never being afraid or apologetic. Is that too big of a dream? I try to be the best parent I can be, teaching her about the world and the people who make a real difference in it. I want her to know that her limitations do not hold her back. I want her to learn to use her ADHD and Anxiety Disorder to become a better person. Her unique experiences make her better and stronger. I want her to have dreams of her own that she is not afraid to chase.

I dream of writing. I dream of being able to spend every day doing what I love. I dream that I may even become good at it one day. It’s a dream I’ve had since I was a child and am finally living it. For the most part. I stopped listening to the voices that said it was ridiculous and I wasn’t good enough. I stopped feeling like a failure. I stopped procrastinating and started writing (again.) Does that mean writing is still a dream, or is it a reality? I think as long as I yearn to better it will be a dream. Just one I actively chase.

I dream that one day I’m actually going to refinish that ugly dresser in my bedroom. Dream? Wish? Goal? I don’t know, but I’m tired of looking at the hideous thing. Just not tired enough to do anything about it, apparently. I dream of becoming organized with a place for everything, and always knowing where to find what I need when I need it. Instead of knowing that it is somewhere, in ONE of these seven piles of stuff. A girl can dream…

I still dream of white picket fence happily ever after. Pathetic, maybe, but a dream nonetheless, that somewhere there is someone who can accept me for all my chaos, quirks and imperfections. Hey, it could happen.

We all have dreams. Big, small, silly or serious – dreams we are taking steps to turn into reality, or dreams we keep in the silence of our hearts. Dreams that we know how to make happen, and dreams we just kind of wish would come true.

I’ve shared some of mine, even the silly. What are some of yours?


Author: kristilazzari

I am a happily divorced mom and writer from rural Alabama. My daughter and I live off the beaten path with a spoiled rotten Flat Haired Retriever that believes herself to be a lap dog. Books are my passion, my day job keeps the lights on.

7 thoughts on “What Are Dreams Made Of?

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  5. Dreams, I’ve aplenty,but dreams that I was successful in wrestling over to reality, not such a good track record lol

    When I was much younger, I dreamed that I would would change the world with my writing. Would give the adventure of a lifetime for those who read what I had written.

    Though that dream dimmed over time, but never quite dissolved, as dreams of my becoming a firefighter and saving lives stole my attention away.

    And I did become a firefighter, though I didn’t save lives. I did put many a distressed car battery out of its misery.

    A little older, and those dreams changed course. I still wanted to save lives and I wanted to make a difference. When I dreamed this time, I grabbed on and dragged it with me, and a career as a nurse blossomed into reality.

    And I did save a few lives along the way, but the restlessness returned and the dreams began again.

    Older still, I became a Mom and someone’s other half, I learned caution, care and responsibility. But the dreams plagued me, had me searching for some intangible something, with only the promise of that I’d know it when I found it.

    Funny how dreams change as we get older. My dream of becoming a writer is always with me now, and my closest companion. But it has to wait.

    Right now, my thoughts are only for getting a job, paying overdue bills, staying focused despite the anxiety eating me alive, and surviving to tell the tale.

    My dreams knew no bounds, the sky was the limit, but at the moment, I’ll be overjoyed and feel like I’ve hit the lottery simply for dreaming employment into reality.

    Great post Kristi. 🙂
    Sorry to blab so much.

    • You didn’t blab too much! I asked!! Thanks for sharing your dreams, old and new with me. I’ve no doubt you can make the employment dream come true..and when you do decide to put that writing dream into action, then watch out world, because we are going to be in for some amazing adventures!! Right now I’m thankful that you are putting that writing energy into blogging. 🙂

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