Who Am I? Why Do You Care?

I am a woman on a journey. Where I'll end up is yet to be discovered.

Not Quite so Depressing

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I’m feeling a bit better about things since my last tangled up post. I haven’t quite figured out how best to deal with the whole family situation, but for the time being, I’m just going to concentrate on my little family right here. Summer is flying by. It doesn’t help that half my daughter’s summer is spent at her father’s so it just seems like I barely see her before she is gone again. I know, I know…but I’m used to her being around. I’m used to her noise, her laughter, her sarcasm and her….um…noise. She spent the night with one of her aunts last night and over and over again, I’d find myself with my head cocked just listening. The silence was deafening. I should be grateful for those times of blessed silence, but it just doesn’t feel right. 🙂

I will be on vacation at the end of July and am so looking forward to it. I may do some writing, but I will not have my computer and I will be avoiding the real world and all social media for a solid 8 days. I am going to relax, have fun with my daughter and disconnect from everything. I am so ready.

Writing projects? I have a few. First draft is done of a book I’ve been working on and it is truly, honestly horrible. Not kidding even a little bit. First drafts are supposed to be horrible, so I’m not worried. I’ve pulled it out a time or two and given it a read through and scribbled some thoughts for changes, I’ll get to work on it in earnest when I’m back from vacation. I’ve also started another project, but I know I will have to work on it a little at a time. It’s an intensely personal undertaking, and one that is going to be an emotional black hole. I mentioned before that there was a story that wanted to be written, yet I did not want to write it. I don’t even know why I feel compelled to do so. Maybe, as the post regarding that work stated, I’m hoping the truth can set me free. I’ve decided to tackle the project through fiction, however. I think giving myself some leeway with the facts or the way I put them together will prove to save my sanity. Still, I know how hard the process is going to be, and I will not allow myself to get immersed in it without coming up for air. So…I’m working on it a little at a time. I’m only about 3,000 words in. Weaving the facts into fiction isn’t as easy as I had thought it would be, but I just don’t feel the need for a memoir style handling of this. So –what else?  I’m working on the final stages of Blessed Light, Cleansing Rain. Seems like I’ve been at these final stages for a while now. That’s okay, I want it to be the best it can be, so all the little tweaks at the end are necessary. Almost there!

All in all, things are going well. DD enjoyed participating in band camp last week and will have three more days of it this coming week. She’s learned a lot and has been super excited. I’m always glad to see her get excited over something. She tends to be so hard on herself, and her frustration level with learning new things can be high, so I am beyond pleased with how much she enjoys band and how much her confidence has grown because of it. It’s always a bonus when she makes new friends, too.

I’m writing, and I’m learning to not be so hard on myself. I’m working on my organization and I’m working on keeping the stress down. I’m practicing being mindful and grateful. I’m working on not letting my shoulder injury get the best of me. I think I’ve whined a lot in the last week. I’m done with that. Whining doesn’t help. What would help would be for me to learn to be more careful. Probably not going to happen. I do intend to go to the doctor again next week to see what more I’ve done to it. Kind of don’t want to know…

Constant work in progress. That’s me.



Author: kristilazzari

I am a happily divorced mom and writer from rural Alabama. My daughter and I live off the beaten path with a spoiled rotten Flat Haired Retriever that believes herself to be a lap dog. Books are my passion, my day job keeps the lights on.

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