To be completely honest, I have just been absolutely exhausted lately. No idea why, truly. Maybe some of it has to do with the “let down” of the launch of Blessed Light Cleansing Rain being over. When I have a project going, I can hyperfocus like nobody’s business. Once it’s over, I’m just a bit lost. Still, I’m sleeping pretty well, and by afternoon I can barely hold my eyes open. I have no get up and go, and even though I was on top of things like laundry and clean bathrooms, it’s starting to pile up a bit in the past week. I just don’t feel like doing anything. At all. Nothing much holds my interest for more than a few minutes. I’m hoping whatever this is passes quickly! Headaches are still a problem, and the dizziness comes and goes, but those things are from a bigger neck problem that I hope to be able to address pretty soon. Anyway, I’ve just been tired and kinda disinterested in everything. It’ll pass.
It’s hard to believe that we are in the last few days of October. The month really flew by. Of course that means that NaNoWriMo is right around the corner. Yikes! A few months ago, I told myself I wasn’t going to participate this year. I was going to take a break. Then, the last book is finished and I’m crashing from the hyperfocus and I start to think, maybe, just maybe I should do NaNo and THEN take my break. Sounds good, right? I couldn’t decide which way to go, when my daughter asked about it and told me she wanted to try it this year. Well, now I sure can’t not participate!
I signed up with mixed feelings. I want to do it, but I decided to try a project that is slightly out of my comfort zone, and one that is still pretty vague. I’ve always been a “pantzer” type of writer – I don’t do detailed outlining or planning before a story – but I DO usually have a pretty good idea of what the major conflict is going to be, who the characters are (basically, anyway, they always reveal themselves to me as I write), and what direction I want the story to take. (that can always change too, but it at least gives me direction until my characters take over and tell me where they need to go.) I feel like I’m behind on my preparation this year. The freezer is empty, there are unfolded clothes piled on a bedroom chair, the dog needs a bath..you get the idea. I haven’t taken care of the “housekeeping” items that would make me feel better about beginning National Novel Writing Month. Still, I think once I get started, all will be well.
I’m looking forward to participating with my daughter. I try not to push her to write. She’s exceptionally good at it, much better than I was at her age, but she usually lacks the focus to finish a story. She begins project after project, but rarely sees one through. (and yes, I’ve been known to steal an awesome line or two from her!) I don’t want her to ever feel like I want her to write just because I do, and I’m smart enough to realize that just because she is good at something doesn’t mean she loves to do it. It’s really HARD not to try to nurture that part of her, though, because I see soooo much potential!! She is so creative, and has a way with snarky satire that I’m envious of! When she asked me about NaNo, and told me she wanted to do it, I was pretty excited. Then I felt her interest wane, so I didn’t ask her about it. A couple nights ago she asked me when she could sign up. She even tried to get a friend of hers to join in, but he was a no go. She worked out a few details of the project she wanted to work on, we set a word count goal for her, and she appears to be good to go! She even tried to convince me that if she was going to participate in NaNo, keep up with her schoolwork AND practice her clarinet, that I was going to have to do away with her bedtime. Ummm…nice try, but no. It’ll be fun to do NaNo alongside a 12 yo chatterbox that constantly makes me laugh. (maybe I won’t hit the word count this year…) It will be an experience, that’s for sure, and one I mean to enjoy as I also know how fast time is slipping away from me and soon she will be grown. 😦 She’s changing again; not just in looks, but I also see her steadily morphing from a child to a teen. I’m so used to her sharing everything with me, and her wanting to be close, that it will be really hard for me to back away and let her be as she needs more independence. It’s a GOOD thing, don’t get me wrong…I just know the time will come when she won’t want to talk to me about EVERYTHING the way she does now. She knows she can always come to me, but I’m fairly certain that teenage girls will still have their secrets. While nothing has ever been too personal for her to discuss with me (and believe me we have had some INTERESTING conversations), I know that soon, some things will be just a bit too embarrassing to discuss with your mother. It’s all good. (who am I kidding, I’m nervous just thinking about it!)
So, here it is, a few days left of October to get ready for November and a month of writing. We’ll see what happens!!