My Dad has been gone since 2005. It feels like yesterday that we were sitting at the kitchen table, playing cards and joking around. I can still hear his laugh. I can still hear the sound of his voice. I can still feel his work-calloused hand in mine. I still remember his smell – he is the only man I ever thought Old Spice smelled good on.
My father wasn’t perfect. Far from it. He had his faults just like everyone else. But I have so many memories that are good that he was a part of. There was so much laughter, so much fun. So many things we did together that I miss. I haven’t been fishing since he died. I just can’t. I loved fishing with my dad, even though neither one of us were great fishermen, it didn’t matter. Sometimes I feel guilty for not taking my daughter fishing. She would like that. Yet I can’t.
My dad was a huge part of my world. Even after I was grown and gone from the house. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and miss him. I guess it has gotten easier with time, the overwhelming feeling of loss has lessened, but there will always be an empty space where he once resided. There will always be reminders of him everywhere, in a deck of cards, a t.v. show, in a Kitty Wells song, and in the way my daughter walks.
I wish he knew my daughter. She is so much like him. They would have been quite the pair. I wish she had had him in her life for just a little longer.
I take today and remember what made him great. I remember what made me love him so much. I remember his stories, and the way he would get excited as he told them. Maybe today I will tell my daughter a few of the good ones.
Love you pop. Always.