I think all that off time this summer has addled my brain. Okay, maybe it was already addled. I went for a long time with no viable ideas, now it seems I have several all floating around, vying for attention. Each one saying “Write ME first!!” In the past I worried what would happen if, after I finished a project, I never got one single new idea. I worried that I had spent so many years ignoring the writer in me, that now I wanted to write, I would be punished for my non-productive years. Now, here I am, knowing I should be working on the short stories, and not one, but three other plots keep banging around in my head, refusing to keep quiet so I can work.
I know I cannot work on four books at once. It would be insane. And they would all be awful. I know I need to prioritize in some way, push the others to the back and work on one of them. I just can’t seem to clear my head. I sit down to write and it’s like a chorus of noise in my head that won’t shut up. It just gets louder until I slam my laptop shut and walk away.
Why can’t I concentrate on one idea? I’d just like to have one nice, productive writing session! I guess I should be happy to have all these ideas jostling around. It means they haven’t turned to dust. I struggle with focus a lot because of my ADHD, but this is getting ridiculous. Writing is that one place I can usually count on that hyperfocus to kick in and let me work. Hmmm..maybe it points to something being wrong with the current short story I’m working on. Maybe it’s not right…maybe it lacks the spark it needs. I guess I will re-evaluate my current story and sit down and take some notes on the other plots to file away for later.
I won’t allow myself to switch gears and change projects. If I start doing that I know I will never again finish another project. I learned how great it felt to see a writing project through to the end and I’m not about to go back to the world of boxes full of half finished manuscripts. No way!
So…I keep trying. And then I watch some Netflix. Then I read. Then I try again.