Sometimes I wish I could just slow time down just a bit. My daughter is growing up so fast now and it is such a bittersweet time. I find myself tearing up at the drop of a hat these days! I think my mom hormones are going haywire. This is the last year at the school she has attended since first grade and something will happen and I will think, “Oh, that’s the last time she’ll get to do that here!” and the tears come. I look at her sometimes and see how grown up she is, and the tears start. She will do something that makes me proud, and the tears start. I don’t know what’s happening here. I’m going to be an emotional wreck unfit for society by the time she gets to twelfth grade!! I’m so lucky to have her, and although I know she will always be mine, sometimes I can’t help but think that the years she has left at home with me are dwindling fast. I’m just not ready! But I have to be…
I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. It’s so easy to get caught up and realize life is whizzing by again and you aren’t really participating. I don’t want that. I want to take an active role in my life. I want to live completely, enjoying the simple, beautiful things all around me. I want to do the things I’ve been longing to do. No more wasted time. I’d rather learn from a mistake than live with the regret of never trying things.
My daughter and I get along great and I couldn’t ask for a better relationship with her. While her peers are starting to complain about their parents and talk about how much they hate their mothers, my daughter tells them she has no idea what they are talking about, that she spends all her time with her mother and likes it. When they talk about how their mothers embarrass them, my daughter tells them she can’t relate. I know, as we move deeper into the teenage years, that time with me will be less of a priority for her, but that just means I cherish every second even more. I think together we will come up with a big list of things we’d like to do together, whether it be go on a picnic or play a board game, and put them in a container. Each Sunday we’ll draw one and have to do it that day. I get caught up sometimes and miss the simple things we could be doing together.
I’ve been staring at my writings in progress and organizing my thoughts. Soon I will be coming up with a plan for my writing time, as well as what project is my next priority. November is almost here and I want to do NaNo again. If nothing else it will help me to get back to writing every single day. I won’t accomplish my writing goals if I don’t get my butt in the chair.
I’m back to studying more and practicing more in the area of copywriting. I promise to stop procrastinating out of fear and work toward my goals.
I’m kind of all over the place right now, my thoughts are scattered and my concentration hasn’t been the best. But these times pass. I’ve much to do and only one life to do it.